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EXTRACT FROM ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC'S BOOK: 'I AM ZLATAN'

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I still don’t know what [Guardiola’s] problem was. Or, well... I don't think the guy can handle strong personalities. He wants nice school boys. And worse: he runs away from his problems. He can't look them in the eye and that makes everything so much worse.
So, it got worse [at Barcelona] when the ash cloud from the volcano on Iceland came. No flights at all in Europe and we were going to San Siro to face Inter. We took the bus. Some brain-dead person at Barca thought that was a good idea. I was free from injuries then. But the trip became a disaster. It took 16 hours and we were all worn out when we arrived in Milan. It was our most important game so far that season, the semi-final of the Champions League, and I was prepared for mayhem, booing and whistling at my old arena. But that was no problem; that drives me. But the situation apart from that was terrible. And I think Guardiola had a hang up on Mourinho.
Jose Mourinho is a big star. He had won the Champions League already with Porto. He was my coach at Inter. He's cool. The first time he met Helena he whispered to her: "Helena, you only have one mission. Feed Zlatan, let him sleep, keep him happy!" The guy says what he wants. I like him. He's the leader of an army. But he also cares. He was sending me text messages all the time in Inter asking how I was feeling. He's the opposite of Guardiola. If Mourinho lights up a room, Guardiola pulls the blinds. I guess Guardiola was now trying to measure up to him.
"It's not Mourinho we are facing - it's Inter," he said, like we thought we'd play ball with the coach. And then he pulled his philosophy crap. I was barely listening. Why would I? It was advanced crap about blood, sweat and tears; sh*t like that. I've never heard a coach talk like that. Pure garbage. But now he finally came up to me. It was during the practice at San Siro and people were there watching, like, "Wow! Ibra is back!"
"Can you play from the start?" Guardiola asked.
"Definitely," I answered.
"But are you prepared?"
"Definitely. I feel fine."
"But are you ready?"
He was like a parrot and I got some nasty vibes.
"Listen, it was a terrible trip, but I'm in good form. The injury is gone. I'll give it my all."